Below are the 12 most recent journal entries recorded in lokibourne's LiveJournal:

Tuesday, December 13th, 2005
4:14 pm	My life, like so many others’, never seems to go quite the way I want it to. I feel, for the first time in my somewhat short life, truly and completely lost. Work isn’t what I expected, my education isn’t what I expected and my social life isn’t what I expected. I’m not trying to have a pity party but I really do feel that I received the short end of the stick. I have expectations in my own life that I feel should have worked out for the better and here I am wondering why they didn’t. I know so many other people probably feel the exact same way at times but here is my question…how do you deal with it? I want to do things in my life and experience things that, again, for the first time, I feel will never happen. I remember in high school I thought I had everything mapped out. I was going to school for something that I knew I was good at and could make a career out of. I was in a relationship that, at the time, I felt would never end and that I never wanted to end. I knew I wanted to have children someday down the road and I knew that life, as I knew it, was going to be amazing. I’m not saying that my whole life is crap but there are parts of it that I would gladly forget if I could. They say it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. After what I have been through over the past month, I think I would have to disagree. If I had never met Mike, my life would be completely different today. In some ways it would be better but in a huge way, it wouldn’t. The only thing that I regret is not always being true to myself. Perhaps if I was, I wouldn’t feel so empty today. Current Mood: confused (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 30th, 2005
8:36 pm	I am back where I started...I am so lost and I dont know what to do. I miss him so much it hurts. All I can think about is the time we went to his parent's cabin or the time we just layed in bed together...oh wait, that's not just one memory; it's like the past six months! Here come the tears again...I miss him and love him so much. Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
1:42 pm	2 days...2 days I am happy not just because of the 2 days i am really happy (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 6th, 2005
6:38 pm	I am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love, i am in love...with michael!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Comment on this)
Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
8:32 pm	School Sucks!!! There is just no other way to put it. I am trying to figure out what classes I still need to take in way of generals and what classes I will need for my major and minor. This is hell Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
1:15 am	I have, of late, been rather engrossed in the most horrific of situations...dorm life. In a nut shell: loud, completely obnoxious, little girls straight out of high school running around, screaming about the latest cute boy. I want to kill them...kill them all. In other news: There is a sadness in my eyes that will not fade (pass? what do you think, Heather?). (That would make an awesome song lyric! Way to go me!) In other other news: Mike is the nicest guy I think I have ever met; think of Josh's opposite. On Friday night he actually went out to my car at 1 in the morning to start it for me...how fucking cute is that? In other other other news: My silent movie project for my Visual Communications class is, I fear, going to be a complete waste of my time. Our group leader is an idiot that also just so happens to be a loud, completely obnoxious, little girl straight out of high school. Oh yes, that is right.....she must die as well. Current Mood: asifit could be any thing else (Comment on this)
Thursday, October 14th, 2004
1:32 pm	Oh yes, yet another wonderful day in paradise. So, I am in a pretty good mood lately, even though no one ever reads this, other than Heather. And yes, I love Heather, but this is just pathetic. Anywho, I met someone and he is totally cute and fun to hang out with. I love spending time with this kid. We are going to a haunted hayride thing tomorrow night and then he is staying with me this weekend at UWEC. It should be lots of fun...not that kind of fun Heather! Get your head out of the gutter! So that is all that is new with me. (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 30th, 2004
2:04 pm	So, Amanda is not doing any better...she is still in her coma and she isn't responding any more than what she was over the weekend. This really sucks; I feel so bad for her family. In other news: last night i was dressing for bed and I turn around and there is this guy walking on the ledge outside our windows. We are on the second floor so he would have had to climb up there somehow. One of my roommates and i went downstairs and told our RA that there was someone out there so they called the cops. Totally creepy. I mean, I had just been naked. Then later that night I couldn't sleep. Completely wasted night. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 15th, 2004
11:26 pm	I don't know why I even bother... Why do I even do this? Why do I even write in here? Why do I even bother with this? Why do I even bother with anything anymore? Why do I even think any of this matters? Why do I even believe anyone reads this? Why do I even put myself out there? Why do I even wonder? Why? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 12th, 2004
1:45 pm	I am bored I am at work I am bored Heather needs to come to UWEC I need to do my homework I should do my homework but i wont until the very last minute because that is how i am Oh well Why is your head so big? ...because The eighth season of friends needs to come out I think this is crap I really think this is crap I really really think this is crap I think i am just typing to type Does anyone else ever do that? Or is it just me? I want ice cream I am going to renfest again next weekend I am excited about that That will make three times this year Way to go me Oh look, the phone is ringing I think i should answer it "Thank you for calling Prudential Metrowide Realty. This is Jewell, how can I help you? That is all (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 7th, 2004
12:07 pm	I am lonely... That is all. (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 5th, 2004
11:10 pm	Why is your head so big? That question is directed at you, Heather! "Breezing through the doors of the electric-shock therapy room, I saw her." Heather is a bitch...Sorry to Miss U of M. NO SHIT. "That's what you came here to do, so do it." NO SHIT. "Except for that hot affair we'll have twice a year." NO SHIT. (2 Comments |Comment on this)